Crowned in Glory
Our sweet Dolores Margaret Mary Finegan went peacefully into Jesus’ loving embrace at 10am this morning, held in our arms. She ran an amazing race. She fought the good fight and now wears her crown in heaven.
Sometimes the road is not easy. Sometimes it doesn’t go the way we want. Sometimes we are called to walk in faith when the path seems darkest. Lord knows my heart is hurting – we miss her so much. But I have to believe that God has a plan and that He wants our good.
This morning I was dropping Ellie and David off at school. Focused on helping Ellie feel confident in a very new and different routine from her last school. She was so brave this morning walking into the class herself! Transition is hard for her (as it is for her dad), and I was so proud of her taking big steps forward on her second day of school. After David and I dropped her off at school, I thought I would let him watch some Veggie Tales in the car on the way to his school. Little did I know that it was actually for me.
In the episode about Joshua and the wall of Jericho, there is a monologue by Junior the asparagus where he talks about trusting in God. I’ll paraphrase here, but he goes on to say that God’s plan may seem hard or sometimes crazy, but God’s plans are always the right ones to follow – like when God told the Israelites to cross the red sea or to march around the wall seven times. In the end God loves us and wants what is good for us.
It was right during that monologue that my brain tuned in, like God wanted me to hear this message. I dropped David at school and drove home, thinking about what my next update would be about. About our experience bringing her home and how the walk out of the hospital went. But in the middle of my musings, Jen called and told me to get home immediately.
I desperately wanted Dolores to be healed. I begged God. Prayed over her. “OK God, here is your moment! That triumphant ‘save the day at the last moment’ story. But God and Dolores had a different plan in mind. And eventually my pleas turned into blessings. I felt and realized the moment, and told my daughter that I understood and that she fought so well. That she has my blessing to go home. That I will miss her. “Go in peace.”
In heartbeats, she went from our Heart Warrior Princess to our Prayer Warrior Princess.
From the moment I saw her, she stole a piece of my heart and she will always have it. Her time was far too short. She has 4 other brothers and sisters in heaven that she gets to reunite with. All miscarriages that we did not get to meet and hold - but we ask their intercession daily. We know they pray for and watch over us.
In Dolores’ short gift of life, I know she’s been letting the Lord work little miracles through her. She’s changed my life in so many ways. And I’ve heard the same from others. She was to me, a treasure. I thank God I was able to know her even with the small amount of time that I did.
In her last moments of life, we were able to remove the mask, tubing, and tape and just take in her beauty. To experience her as she is. It was a heart-wrenching and absolutely beautiful moment I cannot put into words.
I think back to our walk out from the hospital. Full of life and hope. Jen had picked this song to walk out to as it spoke to her heart. It was the song we played for Dolores when we decided not to proceed with the surgeries. RISE UP. A beautiful version and prayer. God speaks in many ways to us, but sometimes it means something different than you originally thought. Eventually, it will be revealed and you might find that it’s more powerful than you originally believed.
Our journey with our sweet Dolores is not done. It just looks vastly different than we hoped. She will be with us always and how lucky we are to have such a powerful prayer warrior watching over us.
A note from Pat and Jen
Thank you all so much for your fervent prayers, your support, for caring for us in this challenging time. We could not have made it through without you behind us. We’re not sure what all comes next, but please continue to keep us and our family in your prayers. We will continue to trust in our loving Father and walk in faith where He leads us.
We know many of you have journeyed closely with us throughout her life and you may want to help in some way or reach out in love with thoughts and prayers. Feel free to comment here or text. Even if we don’t respond, know that we receive it and appreciate your kindness. If you feel inclined to drop off a meal or contribute, we have a meal train and Venmo (Venmo has no fees if you send it as family/friend).
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Photos from this update
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